


Suffocating through a lense

by dieinthewinter



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Emotional, M/M, No Plot/Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 11:51:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dieinthewinter/pseuds/dieinthewinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sweaty palms dig into his eyelids, pressing down, urging the pictures to suffocate and drown. Memories of perfectly lined pearly white teeth lashing false pride and happiness. A genuine joy as fake and forced as the gentleness behind entwined fingers. </p><p>A hand of a flawless, soulful being that isn’t hers, but his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suffocating through a lense

**Author's Note:**

> This is all fictional, I don't owe the characters and this (likely) never happened.

Breathe.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Breathe.

He’s trying.  
So hard. Harder than before, pushing and trying and yelling silently.

He floats and then it feels as if the ground is being pulled from underneath him faster than he could grasp the thought properly.

His vision is swimming and blurred, mixing shapes and colours as his eyes sting.

But there are sharp edges, mocking and threatening. The outlines of a silver band of jewellery and his gaze shies away from the bright lights reflecting in precious bits of diamonds.

There’s vomit caressing the back of his throat, lovingly coaxing him to force it out. He refuses and fights it back down the pipe.

Sweaty palms dig into his eyelids, pressing down, urging the pictures to suffocate and drown. Memories of perfectly aligned pearly white teeth flashing false pride and happiness. A genuine joy as fake and forced as the gentleness behind intertwined fingers.

A hand of a flawless, soulful being that isn’t hers, but his.

“Liam?” he hears. Familiar and brave, aiming to slay through his strong wall of self-protection and self-destruction.

He wants her to go away. To disappear, never having to see her again. Her. And them. Him and her, when that’s not where he belongs.  
When that’s not the body he fits against like it’s meant to be.

Wants her to stop manipulating people into believing a reality that’s hers. Not theirs.  
Not Zayn’s and Liam’s.

Broad hands grip him, his shoulders feeling tiny and slumped against the touch and he doesn’t need to think twice to know that somebody is handling him into a safer place.

“I’ll get you out of here”, they say.

“Don’t worry”, they say.

“You’ll be fine”, they say.

And it’s lies. All lies and false things. And pretending and lying.

Liam can hear Zayn moving behind him, a “Where is he?” repeating anxiously on his lips until Liam knows his frame is turning visible again. Seen by eyes too dark and bright. Too dull and searching right now.

He can hear Zayn. He can smell and taste him. He can feel him.

He’s not okay, but he’s going to be. Holding Zayn’s hand, having his body leaning against his and closing their eyes when the world caves in.

And then he’ll breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the heartache, but it was something I had to get down.
> 
> If anyone's interested, my Tumbler is dieinthewinter.tumblr.com


End file.
